outer world caving in

my life in a cave.

even when i was actively participating in the affairs of the outside world, i had already been feeling disconnected. i wasn't easily meeting eye to eye anymore with others, even amongst kindred fellows, save maybe for one or two. but even those weren't going too great for the most part.

so, i figured, "what's the point?" and i also thought, "what difference does it make at this point if i lived here or in my very own cave?"

nothing.

exactly. so here i am.

To Be or Not To Be Captain Caveman

to go on a date is tough. to go on a date with someone who seems not to be over his ex is tougher. and to decide whether or not to go on a date with someone who seems not to be over his ex is the toughest.

it's one of two things. it's either it's "Captain Caveman to the rescue of loverboy with a broken heart" or it's simply "this is not a good time to date loverboy with a broken heart".

problem is, i'm smitten by this guy. but he's still smitten by his ex. *beat floor with wooden caveman bat*

again, while i can't decide, i'll just huddle in a corner of my cave. or maybe sit on my rock porch and do something non-sensical, like watch dinos eat big leaves off those skyscraper trees. the beauty of nature. and the beast.

spark :: meteor shower

you can't possibly have that "spark" if you're only engaged in a video chat with your future date. it's just not possible. that kind of "spark" requires physical interaction - meaning, you would have to meet your date in person and not just virtually or it would defeat the concept of a "spark". i'm not into the third eye or extra-sensory stuff, but i believe that you just can't feel a "vibe" that way - virtually. there are body energies and stuff like that that get lost along the way while whipping up a getting-to-know-you dessert in cyberspace.

of course, it's not to say that that "spark" is a guarantee when you do finally meet up.

as for me, i'll just enjoy sipping my ice-cold tea as i comfortably lounge on my rock-and-leather sofa (upholstered with the finest forest leaves and dried dino skin) while waiting for that "spark" (where i live, that would mean the meteor shower).

oops, sorry, dinos.

dream cave

as much as I would love to explore the outside world in search of new places, faces, and experiences, i'd much rather just huddle up in a corner of my cave and sleep.

for the most part, dreams are journeys. and they take you far beyond what your eyes can see.

build my body or build my ego instead?

so, i was just thinking...what would guys find more attractive: a gym-fit body or a muscular ego?

either way, i'll probably end up getting all f***ed-up sooner or later.
in this period of history anyway, you get to build your body by climbing big, tall trees and by running as fast as you can from Dinos.

and more alcohol and cigarettes to go before i sleep.

and more alcohol and cigarettes to go before i sleep.